just trying to be helpful:
porno hgei: Did you perhaps mean "porno hygiene"? Here is a video of pornstar Belladonna talking about that.
slow rap to listen to at work: Hmm, not really my thing for the most part. I'd recommend Lil Wayne right away. A little more old school, I'd recommend De La Soul, Tribe Called Quest, and older Kilo. The Blue Scholars can be pretty chill if you like "alternative" hip-hop. If you're looking for more recent stuff, I guess Twista, T.I., T-Pain might be people you want to check out (Akon and Chris Brown too, but they're not strictly rappers).
blogspot communist poem: I suppose that yes, this might be how Glen Beck would describe my blog. Here is a list (by a local Ypsilanti politician) of things that are communist. I think it's a poem. I like that my blog is the number 1 hit for the search term "communist things".
do i have to learn latin to be a writer: God no, I'm so sorry anyone told you that.
ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd xxxexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx: Hard to say what you might be looking for. For some reason, the number one search term that brings people to my blog is a long unbroken string of dddddd's. I mean, I did that poem where I "walked" home using the WASD directional keys, but for some reason no hits for long unbroken stings of W's or A's, and only a couple for sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Weird.
take the mustache back from hipsters: Dude, no. This is not going to work. I suppose you could try to get frat boys to grow mustaches, but really, your attempt to make the mustache into a "sincere" style will only make it more ripe for hipster parody later. Just relax and kick back with whatever facial hair makes you happy. Or you could do what I did when I had a mustache: Go through fire academy just to get away with the non-hipster stache. I mean, you think I did that shit to get a job? In Michigan? I'd have to be a complete moron to think that were even possible.